Let’s talk about behaviors that we see as a result of escaping or avoiding certain situations and learn about ways to address them. As a reminder, this post is part of a compilation of many behavior posts. If you need a general understanding of behaviors, start here. It will give an understanding of the reasons that children display behaviors in the first place.

Escaping a situation can present itself in a number of ways. Some children may talk their way out of a situation. Some might leave the room when asked to clean up. And others might flee the playground during recess.

For each function or reason behind behaviors, we’re going to discuss ways to prevent and respond to attempt to decrease seeing the behavior. Remember that there are positive, negative, and neutral behaviors. I encourage you to think about if the behavior you are seeing is impacting the child’s daily participation or if the child’s behavior is harming themselves or others.

If not, does the behavior need to be modified? If it does, read on.

When a child displays a behavior to get out of doing something or to escape a situation, it is important to consider why the child cannot participate in the task at hand.

Reasons a child may escape

1. The child may not feel motivated by the task.
2. He may be unable to do the task. He lacks the skills to complete the task, therefore avoiding it is a tactic.
3. She may feel a flight or fight response kick in due to a sensory sensitivity or anxiety around a situation.

Let’s discuss possible solutions for a behavior as a result of these reasons.

Regardless of the reason a child is avoiding a situation, I’ll recommend that you assure the child does ultimately complete the task or engage in the activity, even if the task becomes downgraded (you make it as easy as necessary to complete). If a child exhibits a behavior to get out of a task, and it works, you just reinforced that behavior by allowing them to avoid the task (even if it is unintentional on both parties).

So on with it!

Ways to prevent escaping behaviors

It will be important to consider the reason that the child might be escaping or avoiding a situation.

If the child is not motivated by a task, it will be important to figure out a way to increase that motivation. If the child is avoiding a sensory-rich experience, it is necessary to provide him with sensory strategies to get through it, or help him avoid the situation safely, if that is an option. If the child is unable to do the task, figure out ways to make it attainable for improved participation.

• Use characters and activities that the child enjoys
• Create a schedule that involves a motivating activity at the end
• Use visual supports (schedules, first-then board)
• Or create a routine that uses the same motivator after the challenging activity so the child knows that after I finish my math, I get to go read in my nook. Every time.
• Provide choices within the activity to encourage motivation
• Give opportunities to create a calm, regulated state from a sensory perspective
• Break the activity down into more attainable steps and present one at a time

Ways to respond to escaping behaviors

It is necessary to respond to behaviors that need to be modified. We don’t necessarily want to react in a big, dramatic way since this can contribute to attention and reinforcement. But a response is important to let the child know that the behavior is not appropriate or won’t get them out of the situation. I will not get too specific on recommendations here as every child is different. But, here are some suggestions and strategies to try.

• It is important to have a discussion with a child, if developmentally appropriate. I think talking with a kiddo is a great way to help them through situations that are challenging for her. “I can understand why you did that. You did not want to do your homework. Unfortunately, it is not ok to do ______. Next time, you could ask for help or tell me this is challenging. Let’s come up with a plan and ways to make this a little easier for you.”
• If the child elopes (or leaves the area), calmly bring them back and use a strategy from the above list. First-then language may be appropriate in this situation. “No running. First recess, then break.” “It is not safe to leave. First put on your coat, then we play.” “It is not safe to leave, but I see you are overwhelmed. Let’s take a break together and return to the group.”
• If a child is tantruming or out of control, it is best to allow them to calm before attempting any return to task or conversation. There will be no learning or even listening if the child is in the “Red Zone.” Stay with them, assure they are safe, and downgrade the task (make it easier) when appropriate so they can complete it.
• Help them understand the behavior they are showing is not appropriate and give them ways they can request a break, communicate that they’re all done, or that they need help within their language capacities. And then practice! Here is a simple example, during swim lessons, my daughter wines and flails when we try to float on her back. I try to calmly redirect her and prompt to say, “I need a break Mommy!” and then I help her get out of that position.
• Work on the skills necessary for the task so that the task is more attainable to the child.

Use your team if you have one

If the child you are thinking of has difficulty in this area, consider calling on the entire team to explore behaviors. With escaping behavior, this can be challenging as prevention will be a big tool to modify the behavior. And you can’t prevent something without it happening first. So a lot of behavior modification is trial and error (I think!). This is when you could consider the ABCs of a behavior, which I mention in the first behavior post of the series.

If they are a typically developing child without a team of specialists, here is my advice: respond enough to notify them that the behavior is not acceptable. And come up with a plan together to get through the situation at hand.

No matter who the child is, avoid giving attention, either positive or negative. More on this in the post dedicated to behaviors as a result from attempting to gain attention.

Please share with me! What works for kids you know in this situation? When they try to get out of a situation, what do you do and how do you respond?

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The ABC Model of Behavior
Functions of Behavior: Why behaviors happen